The James Foley Awards, ‘24

Much love to mom for having the strength to take the trip to D.C. last week to honor our Luke at the 2024 James Foley Awards.  The aim of these annual fundraising galas seeks to honor journalists' lives , as well as award individuals who devote much of their time and energy to save and protect them, and to ensure their safe passage home.

Many of the speakers and award winners, along with journalists who had been rescued and returned home, were individuals aligned with a government entity in some capacity, whether from The White House, FBI or Department of Defense.  

Six years ago, our hearts were much more closed off to the experience, given an inherently (justified) bitter attitude toward the U.S. government for the way they handled Luke's case which, ultimately, got him shot and killed.  To observe politicians and federal agents in their finest cocktail attire, speaking of terrorism in black and white brush strokes, did nothing but provoke more ill-will and cynicism, given our vulnerable, highly sensitive, traumatized states.

Six years later - last week - ma and I went in with a much more deliberate intention to accept this invitation in good faith from The James Foley Foundation, as well as keep our hearts open and minds clear, regardless of the weightiness of the subject matter and the individuals with whom we may share fundamental disagreements.

The trip, in this respect, was good for the both of us.  We were treated kindly and gracefully at the event, and we reconnected with some lovely souls whom we have gotten to know over this journey.  We were seated at the same table of a woman who lost her sister and her sister's husband on October 7th.  Before mom and I left the hotel, I confidently placed my Yemeni pin to one side and a Palestinian pin to the other side of my jacket.  While connecting with this woman with tragic Israeli ties I initially felt a bit conflicted with my decision to flaunt these little shiny flags. Yet we talked at great length, we hugged it out, and we found a common ground that appears easily lost in a world so polarized to the extremes; where debates are shut down and labels are haphazardly proclaimed when any nuance is introduced into the conversation.

Sting was a special guest and he sang two songs for us in the ballroom.  When he was singing his second song, the in memoriam slideshow of journalists who had been killed (the list was not very long) played, and there was our Luke hovering above as Sting serenaded the attendees.  Mom and I held hands, we shed tears - the only time we had been truly cracked open on the entire D.C. trip.  So, for what it was worth, the presentation aroused something in me and mom that is still both very raw and real and very welcomed.

Naturally, I felt familiar reactive impulses arise as political speakers and awardees spoke of kidnappings and terrorisms as if they happen in a vacuum. "They take our loved ones just because they carry a little blue book," one award winner said.  Once again, I was faced with a familiar revelation -  that in some of these speeches, there is a tendency to negate and overshadow the U.S. government's complicit and nefarious roles in creating, funding, and propelling the very violence and crimes that they decry - the actions that indirectly place our loved ones in harms way.

We once sat across the table from Barack Obama in the White House in 2015, two months after Luke's death.  He told us he would have moved heaven and earth had his two daughters been in Luke's situation.  He told us that the terrorists will pay for their crimes.  Yet the more research I had done and the more details that came out about Luke's case, the more I had realized how successful the government was at getting us to play their game.

This does not negate the fact that many of the government personnel we had worked with likely had good, pure intentions to bring my brother home - or anyone's loved ones for that matter.  Yet they were still going in accordance with a certain systematic code that is far more pervasive than the individuals who represent it; a code that both opened and closed the seal on Luke's fate.

In essence, it has been a conscious undertaking to not invest my energy in playing the blame game.  Rather, it has been a long road of cultivating compassion, finding forgiveness, and understanding that life possesses an unquantifiable number of possibilities and vantage points, and it's up to us to determine which narrative best aligns with our societally hardened, yet spiritually malleable belief systems.  Growth and flowing in accordance with the only universal constant, change, are paramount if we are to open ourselves up to expansive thinking, communicating and creating from a place of non-judgment.

All of that is to say, I am thoroughly grateful that there are countless individuals out there committed to a cause that inevitably promotes empathy, acknowledgement and understanding in little-big ways.  Diane Foley has done such profound, impactful work in spreading awareness and action for our loved ones who are held captive abroad.  To experience this energy and awareness that she has created is truly remarkable.

And I turn this back to ma, who has inspired so much curiosity and wanderlust and flavor to her two sons.  Thank you for putting those ripples of nurturing motherhood out into the world; a special energy representative of the ways that Luke was an unofficial ambassador for curiosity, passion and beautifully unbridled connection with fellow humans, no matter where he was in the world.